“You were born to stand out, stop trying to fit in.”
Roy T. Bennett
The greatest and most important journey of our lives is discovering who we really are, Finding your real self is about discovering and learning to love what makes you unique. On the outside it seems an odd idea that you could actually be anything other than who you really are. But from the time we can talk, we’re being programmed to “fit in”.
We find ourselves conforming in order to please other people. But sometimes that means that you have to suppress what you know is the real person inside. And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy relationships with anyone else.
If you’re ready to get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – Yourself – start with these five ways to help you rediscover the real you.
5 WAYS TO REDISCOVER THE REAL YOU:
Quiet The Little Noise In Your Head: You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly running the play-by-play of your life—to you, the one who’s actually living it? With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything. Our minds are constantly encountering and processing new information, along with non-stop self-talk – negative self-talk. It gets real noisy in there!
The best way to quiet the noise in your head is to give it one thing to focus on – Gratitude for all the wonderful things in your life is one of the best way to stop that little noise in your head and limit the negative self-talk. Find things to appreciate everyday. Taking a moment to notice and acknowledge the things you’re grateful each day can brighten your outlook and help you feel more positive in the face of challenge. You also can try meditation, exercise, yoga, journaling and some other relaxing activities. The more you make time for these activities, the less cluttered your mind will become. By incorporating mindful activities into your daily routine can be beneficial to help you refocus, return to the present moment, and slow down your thought process and allowing you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lack.
Identify And Meet Your Own Physical Needs: Meeting your own physical needs is important for your overall well-being. It can help you feel better physically and mentally. A big part of finding your real self is finding out what you like, what brings you joy, what makes you happy, and what sets your soul on fire. Being able to identify your needs means being able to evaluate your life and yourself, both mind and body.
“What’s going on? How do I feel now? What do I need right now to feel better?” “How can I appreciate my worth?” “What opinion do I have to unpack?” Once you are able to identify your needs, you can start to meet them healthily. “What healthy changes can I make today to meet that need?” It’s a Must to make your physical well-being a priority if you really want to rediscover the real you. People pleasers are so focused on other people and meeting other people’s need that they sometimes neglect to take care of themselves.
Practice Thinking About Yourself In Healthy Ways: In order to do that, you must first believe that you are valuable, and your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined –that’s a lot of talk!—it’s up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say; challenge them; and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I’ll learn from it and have better success next time.
Listen To Your Heart: Sounds easy enough, but by the time we’re adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect in order to find your real self. It’s easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of really feeling them. Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask why it’s important.
Be Careful Not To Get Hung-Up On A Specific Goal: What you’re really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to material stuff. Keep an open mind to the feelings, and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and your real self will come shining through.
To find our true selves takes time and effort. Here are few things to help you on your way:
- Does the life you are living resonate with your inner being?
- What in life already makes you happy?
- Where do you already feel successful?
- What habits do you need to let go of in order to be more authentic?
- To be authentic means to find the key to happiness and success within one’s self, not within society.
- It takes courage, honesty, and a desire to be free of other’s opinions. I love the line, “What you think of me is none of my business.”
- To be authentic, you have to stop putting other’s needs ahead of your own, and you have to stop compromising your dreams to please others
- Do you make time to connect with yourself?
Remember, discovering your true self is a journey. It can be scary. Change is hard. But don’t let that fear stop you from discovering the real you. A person you can love first is – You! – and is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you’ll make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, isn’t that’s what you’re really looking for?