Sometimes it can feel like we’re stuck in life, doing the same old things we’re unhappy with, over and over again.
Have you ever told yourself that you’re stuck? The truth is we all get stuck sometimes and we also have the choice to get unstuck.
Maybe you’ve been procrastinating on your work, or getting stuck in indecision or perfectionism. Maybe you’ve been putting off exercise or meditation, getting your finances in good shape, sorting out your relationship or making some other important change in your life.
“Until you believe you have no options, you’ll continue to feel stuck.”
-Sean Stephenson
I hear many women say that they feel stuck, unmotivated and have stopped enjoying the simple things in life. I’m here to tell you that I am a living example of the truth that we can get unstuck, create and get your life together again. You have the power to create a life that you love filled with joy, happiness and abundance.
In my life, I’ve been stuck in a rut many times — and it turns out there’s always a way through the stuckness. It’s not running away from the stuckness, but turning towards it. Going through it. Embracing the stuckness, being honest with yourself and thinking of the areas of your life where you need changes and letting it unstuck itself.
On this post, I’m going to share a few simple ways of getting unstuck, and creating a new path for yourself. And then talk about recommendations for changing your habits this year, or getting good at doing your meaningful work. This will change your life, no joke!
But first thing first…..
What does it mean to feel stuck?
Feeling stuck can look something like these:
- Really wanting something—a new job, relationship, or improved health, for example—and then losing motivation to get it.
- Identifying something that looks exciting and then talking yourself out of steps to move toward it.
- Endlessly thinking about what could be better or different. Indecision, worry, and over-thinking rob you of being present and enjoying life as it is.
Some simple ways to get unstuck
I have said this at the beginning, everyone feels stuck in life at some point — maybe from an unstimulating job, an unfulfilling relationship, or just a general sense of indifference.
But you can stop feeling stuck by figuring out why you’re feeling that way in the first place, and then making a few changes to improve your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. There’s no one way to do this, but I’ve found some of these tips incredibly helpful:
Turn towards the difficulty
If you’ve been avoiding thinking about a difficult project, or sorting your finances or messy clutter, or your exercise or diet or other health issues … not much will change until you turn towards it and face it. A willingness to turn towards the difficulty and work with it is one of the most important requirements to change.
Make a decision and set an intention
If we want something different to happen, we have to decide to make a change. It’s as simple as that, and yet what happens is we get stuck in an in-between state, where we want to change but we haven’t made a clear decision to do so. A clear decision means we let go of all of the “should I do this or maybe not?” kind of self-talk, and just commit to the decision fully. And then we set an intention: what would we like to do?
Be compassionate with yourself
When we keep doing the same things over and over again, we can get really down on ourselves. We get disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, and form a negative self-image. Trust me, I know this well! And yet, none of that helps us get unstuck — it only adds to the stuckness. So what would it be like to be kind to ourselves instead? That doesn’t mean we don’t try to change … it just means we stop adding self-discouragement to our list of challenges. Or at least, if we do, we start adding encouragement and compassion.
Get support
Most people try to get unstuck and make a change by themselves. This can feels safer. But it means you’re doing something tough on your own — which can work sometimes, but often doesn’t work. I’ve found it incredibly powerful and effective to do it with others. Find a group, do a challenge, get accountability, find a buddy to run with. You will find that it helps to not be alone, and to get support when you feel like giving up.
Set a time to practice and keep up with it
It’s funny how often we say we’re going to do something, but then don’t commit to a time. Make a date with yourself to do it. Or make a date with someone else to do it with them! Keep practicing with it, daily if possible, and you’ll see gradual change.
Small victories, slow changes, amazing progress
Focus on small victories at first. I told myself I just had to lace up my shoes and get out the door. I increase very gradually. In a year, I went from not being able to run 10 minutes, to running my first half-marathon . Gradual change equals huge progress over time.
Progress, not Perfection
You’re not trying to be perfect at this. You’re trying to trend in the right direction. Missed 4 days of meditation last week? Focus on the 3 days you did do! Keep making progress, and let go of small misses.
Control Your Mindset
Sometimes, when we think we’re stuck, often the problem is our mindset. Being mindful of our mindset and self-talk is important to living a life of freedom and fulfilment. Work on rephrasing your self-talk in order to improve your mindset.
For example, if you tell yourself, “I could never build a website on my own” rephrase it to, “I don’t know how to build a website YET, but I can learn.”
If you find yourself saying, “I don’t have enough money to travel,” tell yourself, “I don’t have the money right now, but I can make a plan to save money to travel. Rephrasing your self-talk can help you see opportunities and possibilities instead of feeling stuck.
Final thoughts
It’s frustrating to feel stuck. But you don’t need to stay stuck if you know the right ways to break free from the rut. If you want to bring changes in your life, there are many ways you can get emotionally and mentally unstuck. It all starts with self-awareness. You’re already on the right track.